You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
