FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
