I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
