If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
