Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Randomize
