You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize