Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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