Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
