My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it was like eating out sand paper
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
