just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
