My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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