I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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