Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
