i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
