They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
please come you make the beer taste better
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
