I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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