Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
