I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
