Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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