My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
