Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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