woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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