around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
