i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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