Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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