And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
