just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
