I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
