she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
