I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
