I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
