I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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