He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What changed your mind?
Being sober
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
