but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
