Got a toothbrush?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
