Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
