is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
