What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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