She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
soo... how was my night?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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