If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
