i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
