can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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