Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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