pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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