Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
