Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize