dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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