he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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