I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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