hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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