Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize