normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
