can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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