also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
