Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
