I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize