She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
