Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
