You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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