there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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